I recently received this email from a former client: “Thanks for the work you have done with me. Can’t say exactly what have changed but there is a huge difference everywhere. You are wonderful; firm, responsive, quick, clear and a zillion other things that I can’t express without getting too emotional. – AND my mother called!!! Now that is really, really something…” – Mona V
I had one client who had anger problems – throwing things, slamming doors, crashing dishes into the sink. He lived in a house with roommates and his fiance. After a couple of sessions, he stopped coming. But everyone who lived in that house made appointments. So I had to ask, “What happened?”
The spin on the Apex Effect. The Apex Effect is that it clears something so fast that “it can’t just be EFT.” The spin is that often it’s so natural that you don’t even notice the difference. The former client thought EFT wasn’t doing anything. But ALL his roommates saw that he stopped slamming doors, and stopped throwing things, and stopped banging around all the time. He was calmer, very rarely angry anymore. He didn’t notice, BUT THEY SURE DID.
Another client called to cancel her appointment because it clearly wasn’t working. So I reminded her that at her last appointment she said her mother called and instead of getting upset, angry and hurt – for the first time in 15 years – she just smiled and said, “Oh, mom” and let it go. The client said, “Oh, right. I had forgotten. It seemed so easy.” And I gently reminded her that she had gone to traditional therapy for her relationship with her mother and it hadn’t changed… so what could be the reason? What did you do differently? She took a bit of time and thought and said… “hmmm, maybe I shouldn’t cancel our appointment…” :-)
I have a ton of stories like this.
And the changes can be subtle too – like Mona’s above. So I’ve started telling clients that it can happen like that. A spider phobia? Yeah, you’ll know that instantly. Feeling more comfortable around others? You sort of don’t notice it… because you’re comfortable. And then finally, one of your friends will say, “You know something? You stick around longer at parties now – cool?” And you’ll say, “Do I? I hadn’t noticed.”
That’s worked well.